27 Months Today!

27 Months Today!

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Today marks 27 months of my sobriety.  Not sure what that is in days so I just keep ticking the months off!!

I’m not really celebrating as such but as its half term I am going to the cinema with my girls to watch a film, with a Macdonald’s for lunch as an extra treat!

Recently I have been talking about the big changes that have been happening in my life since I stopped drinking  including moving into a different career.  And without a doubt my biggest change in my life is in my fitness and health, both of which have improved dramatically.  These are the BIG things, but the little things are just as important to!

I have mentioned previously about the guilt I used to have in the past and the increasing levels of guilt that I had as my children got older and would start to notice my drinking and hangovers.  These times made me want to change, made me want to stop so much but I just couldn’t.

A couple of these times that have really stuck with me when I felt particularly bad are linked to the cinema.  Once when I was so hung over after a night out that I had to leave the film after twenty minutes of it starting, much to my eldest daughters disappointment.  I had horrendous anxiety, felt sick and was convinced I was going to pass out it wasnt good.  I went home and went to bed, I felt so crap, I just felt like I had let her down so badly,  but that wasn’t enough for me to stop.

The second time was also a cinema trip.  We had booked to see Finding Dory later in the day after sunday lunch, I had a hangover from hell and found myself drinking the dregs of wine from one of the  bottles from the night before just to make me feel better and more “normal” to go and sit in the cinema.  Obviously after an hour in I  felt even worse and spent the whole film in a world of self-hatred and thinking how fast could I get to the loo to be sick.

It was about two weeks after this that I quit.  But from there was about 12 months in between these two events.  That’s a long time to feel crap about yourself and wanting to change but not having the strength to do so.

Because a lot of my posts are about positivity, change and living a life you love,  it makes me feel pretty sad when I write about the shitty times.  But it’s these times that got me to where I am today.  If by sharing this I can show one person that it’s possible then it is so worth it!

So today, I am up and on it, workout done and off to the cinema. Feeling fresh, strong and healthy knowing that I am giving my girl the best version of me.  It certainly is a million miles from how the drinking me felt.

If your reading this, how are you feeling about yourself right now?

  • Do you hate yourself or love yourself or at least are you on the journey of loving yourself?
  • Are you giving your children and your family and friends the best version of you or are you functioning at 50% suffering from hangovers and feeling drained most of the time?
  • Are you spending your time wishing you were someone else (I used to do this all the time) Why can’t I be the woman who has their life together? Whose mind isn’t obsessed with trying to control their drinking?
  • Are you proud of who you are?  I was ashamed and disappointed in myself every monday morning, EVERY SINGLE MONDAY!  I was constantly letting myself down – that’s a really horrible feeling.

 

Now all of the above are feelings that you don’t actually realise your walking around with most of the time.

Your aim is to get through the week, feed the kids, workout if your lucky, clean up, do your day job, smile at people and just tick off the boxes – day after day after day!  Your head is buried in all of that, you can’t see a way out.  You just don’t have the strength to fight away out of it to make a change.

What makes making the change even more difficult is when your drinking isn’t causing too many problems in your life.  So your drinking way more than you should be but your life looks pretty normal to other people.  So  no one is going to pull you to one side and say – your drinking is out of control you need help.  Because to the outside world you do look in control.

I didn’t tell anyone how much I hated myself at the time that was trying to quit.  To others I was the life and soul of the party and 90% of the time all happy, bubbly and smiling.  I was always the one who would get the most drunk, I would never be out without drinking, I would always want to stay out the latest, always wanted that next drink that other bottle.  But the guilt, regret and the hangover the next day was just soul-destroying.  I couldn’t understand how I seemed to be the only one who was feeling like this, everyone else seemed to just carry on as normal and didn’t have this guilt that I had.

It was only by setting up my blog and Instagram page that I realised there are so many others out there who feel exactly like I did and who are making the change to sobriety.  People sharing their own storied has given me so much support and I know from the comments I have received from followers that my story has done the same for them too.

How I was in the past,on certain days was nothing to be proud and I hated myself at times, but now I’m gradually learing to love myself and feel proud of what I’ve achieved.

How far have you come in your sober journey, in days, months or other achievements?

If you’re looking for daily sober inspo please find me on Instagram Liftingweightsnotwine

Thankyou for following my story – the sober support I have found on my blog and insta has been amazing – lets keep sharing the sober love!

Angie xx

 

 

 

 

Sober Celebrities ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Sober Celebrities ⭐️⭐️⭐️

When people think of a sober person, I’m sure uncool, boring and grey are possible words that would spring into some people’s minds! I’ve got to be honest, for a long time that’s probably what I would have thought of a non-drinker. I mean how on earth could someone be fun on a night out without having a drink?!?!

Obviously now I feel very differently and know for a fact that being sober does not make me boring, I’m nearly 100% sure that my friends and family would back me on that! I’m still up for nights out even more than before and I’ve also got this new found confidence to try things for the first time, push myself out of my comfort zone, grab life with two hands. Thats surely less boring than going home early because I’m too drunk after spilling my wine everywhere and falling over and repeating the same stories again and again!

Now as for sober not being cool, I cant really comment on my level of cool, because that would make me so not cool!!!! But you only have to look at the long list of sober celebs to see that sober doesn’t have to mean uncool or boring.

The latest list I saw was in Harper’s Bazaar and it included over 50 famous faces, detailing why they didn’t drink and what there thoughts on alcohol were. I admit some of them I had never heard of but certain celebs definitely stood out ……..

  • Bradley Cooper
  • Eminem
  • Calvin Harris
  • Lana Del Ray
  • Naomi Campbell
  • Tyra Banks
  • Rob Lowe
  • Eva Mendez
  • J Lo
  • Colin Farrell

Some have never enjoyed drinking and have hardly touched the booze, whilst others have enjoyed it too much and have had to stop. A lot state they have gone sober because alcohol started to make them feel bad both mentally and physically, and I can definitely relate to that!

So being sober doesn’t have to be boring or dull, and if anyone disagrees with you or questions that then just point them in the direction of Samuel L Jackson, Calvin Harris or 50 Cent!

Hope you enjoy reading the list!

Angie xx

The full list can be seen here from Harper’s Bazaar:-

https://www.harpersbazaar.com/celebrity/latest/g11644970/celebrities-who-dont-drink-alcohol/

 

It’s never too late to change…..

It’s never too late to change…..

This is so true! It’s never too late to change and be who you want to be.

This photograph was taken on a walk with my husband and my two girls, on Sunday 9th October 2016. I know the date because I posted it on my Facebook page. We all have days we will never forget for good reasons and bad, and this is a day I will never forget! The Day before we had all been to a local beer festival with friends and family, then back to ours for drinks and pizza. All day I had told myself to take it easy on the drinking because we had planned this walk on the Sunday. But the drinks were flowing and Sunday’s plans went out of the window, we’ve all been there haven’t we?

So when Sunday came around I was feeling pretty crap, I was feeling exactly how I didn’t want to feel. I think the older I got the worse I felt even just after a few drinks! In a way I’m glad because if I felt fine I would never have stopped!!

So we set off, trying to motivate myself, I felt sick, spaced out and faint but I didn’t want to admit it. I was totally caught up in feeling crap but smiling on the outside! On the walk we stopped to have food ( I was planning on a carb feast to perk me up!) At this point a fell runner came past, she had a “tough mudder finisher” tshirt on, she had glowing red cheeks, was slim but not skinny and just looked so amazing healthy and strong. It was a light bulb moment for me, I just thought what am I doing???? I’m sat her feeling crap after another boozy Saturday, it’s not who I want to be, I wanted to be like she was! Healthy, glowing, strong, happy! Yes I was happy to be doing this walk with my girls but I want to be running along with them, full of energy and being 100% present, giving them the best version of me, their mum!

I thought about this for the rest of the day and how I could change, I knew I had to stop drinking, but could I do it?

We stopped for tea on the way home and I remember persuading my husband to drive because I wanted a couple of glasses of wine! How crazy is that!!! In my head I was thinking “I will start Monday”. Unfortunately it took me another month to decide to stop for good, but I will never forget seeing that fell runner in her tshirt. I’ve now booked my second Tough Mudder and can’t wait to do it again in July!

Changing how I felt physically by stopping drinking was something I really wanted to do, and for a long time I tried and failed. One day it does just click, it maybe something you see or read or just a feeling, but don’t ignore it, it’s never too late to make that change and become who you want to be. The other option is living a life always wondering “what if?” Or “I can’t do that” but you can. Whether it’s losing weight, stopping drinking, getting healthy, completing a challenge, anything that you seriously, really want to do, believe me you can do it! You just need to decide to make the change! It doesn’t matter how many starts you have, just keep on trying, if you want it badly enough you will get there, just don’t give up!

PS- my comment on this photo when I posted it on Facebook was “blowing the cobwebs away!” Now that’s something I don’t need to do anymore!

I hope the sun is shining where you are today because it feels like Spring has finally sprung here!

Angie x